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Beyond the moor
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December was busy (and I'm still behind in actually writing my Christmas cards), but plenty productive with regards to writing and updates.

- Forest Fire 1.5 posted! (Itachi / Sakura)
- Tipsy 3: Forget posted! (Madara / Sakura)
- Hallowcinogenics (ch 1-6, complete) posted! (Sirius / Hermione)

Also, these were cross-posted to *and* AO3 (Archive of our Own), so hopefully they're more readily available to those who'd like to read them.

Yesterday I also started posting another HP-fic:
- Joy in Small Places (Severus / Hermione)

That one is longer (80+ pages), and still under construction but nearly done. I intend to update it monthly, if possible, as I finish writing the end. It's actually the first HP-fic I wrote; however, as I finished "Hallowcinogenics" first, I posted it over the holidays. "JISP" is far darker than my usual writing. Warnings abound.

Also in the works:

- Forest Fire II (Itachi / Sakura / Sasuke)
- birthday story for a friend of mine (surprise!)

FF II: This one has reached 112+ pages, and is still going. It's a bit of a beast. I now have two betas helping me, though, and hopefully we'll wrangle it into something publishable by Itachi's (June 9) or Sasuke's (July 23) birthday. If you have questions, I'm happy to answer what I can!

Birthday story: Shhhhh! It's due February 2nd. I'm about a dozen pages in and *desperate* to write this one up to share with enemyoftheheir . DAMNIT! I'm terrible at keeping secrets. :__;

Anyway, otherwise things are good! I'm excited: my car payments finish this year~! I can't wait to have almost $400 more a month to save. Hubby's trying to convince me to put it away to save up for a trip. (I hate to tell him, but if I'm putting $ away for a trip, it'll be to somewhere I can go on an adventure by my lonesome, hahahah!) I think it should go towards the mortgage, the kids' RESP, and my RRSP. I know. I'm no fun.

Oh, things with PC (Pampered Chef--side-gig) are moving along. Picked up a stone for us for pizzas--even my hubby loves it, and that's saying something. It's getting a lot of use right now. <3

I hope all is well with all of you, and I hope we get some interest in the saiunpornium (on LJ) fic exchange for Valentines Day.

Have a great week! And if you're looking for the stories I publish, they can be found here:

- AO3:
4th-Dec-2014 09:14 pm - Writing
While I no longer have my writing studio, I am still writing when I can. Losing the dedicated writing-space (Studio) really hurt my capacity, in that respect.

Hopefully I'll have a new space set up here at home, soon, and will have a proper writing schedule again. If I have a chance, I'll try and make up a table with all the different stories in progress, and what their progress is. (Planning, writing, editing, posting, complete). I have started porting my stories over from and to, too, to collect everything together under one 'roof', so to speak.

I miss the studio. But hubby has said he's taking time off work over the holidays to help me fix up the office here to make it into a new 'studio' for me.

He said this years ago, and promised at the beginning of the summer it would be done. It wasn't. Autumn hit, and I dragged the spare bed & extra furniture out myself, on my own, to at least get started on it. We'll see what the holidays bring.

It could mean a significant blaze in the fireplace, if I get tired of sorting everyone else's papers again.
4th-Dec-2014 09:10 pm - Update?
So, within a few minutes of husband finding out I'd been scrubbing down the elliptical, he came down and took over and has just told me that it is 'clean' now.

... it only took him 3.5 months and me getting down on my bad knee for him to get to it, apparently.

(Welcome to 'moor's bitterness night')(Normally I'm a lot better than this, it's just seeing the elliptical in rough shape that put me over my edge. Hopefully that is resolved, now.)
4th-Dec-2014 08:40 pm - How the days go, sometimes.
Was hoping that cleaning off the elliptical would make me feel better. Nope. *renewed anger*

*deep breath*

A day at a time, a day at a time...

History/Explanation: Late summer/early fall this year, my FIL & husband decided to open up a wall in the basement to check for possible leakage & water damage since we'd had mild flooding in our area.

But see, they didn't think to move my $4,500+ elliptical out of the way first. In spite of me clearing the way in front of it (it has wheels so it can moved), or even putting a tarp or blanket over it. And me asking them, repeatedly, to be careful with it, and me reminding them that I didn't want a mess to clean up again like I'd had to the last few times they'd 'helped' or 'fixed' things.

Fast Forward: The elliptical is covered in dust, inside and out, there are globs of 'compound' (used to patch up walls) all over it, the handlebars have chunks & gobs of *something* on them I can't identify, and I am losing my f*ing s* because they've effectively ruined MY $4,500 piece of equipment. And the floor? Can't find it. It's covered in construction stuff.

This is after my FIL ruined the paintjob on my brand-new car several years ago, btw.

So, yeah, deep breaths. I started cleaning it off tonight. It has taken me this long to calm down enough to go clean it. Because they didn't.

Deep breaths, jaw clenched, and me being relieved of charitable thoughts towards them for a good, long time. Because this isn't in the nature of forgivable. Unless they show up with $5,000.00 CDN in hand and an apology letter. My savings went into that machine, to help me with my heart. Now I'm having to put out more out of pocket, for a f*ing gym membership--to go use ellipticals.

Deep breaths. Lots of deep breaths.

Well, for starters, my time management is at an all-time high! ;)

Really brief:

- spent the summer on the coast w/ my family
- drove across Canada w/ the kids in my little Civic... on my own. The GPS kamikaze'd itself dramatically midway through the wilds of Québec. Oh, to return to the glory of paper maps when you're the only driver/navigator in the vehicle. XD
- I started a new job! :D I love it. M-Th, 9:30-2:30. I am home w/ my kids more often, and volunteer on Fridays.
- I joined the local Santa Claus Parade again this year!
- My husband's surgery went well in Sept, and while I had a very busy Sept/Oct helping rehabilitate, dress, bathe, feed, etc., him while still looking after the kids/working/doing all the driving/shopping, things have evened out again for November.
- I decided against doing NaNo this year b/c after assisting my husband/being a 'single' parent for Sept/Oct, I really needed a break
- I've started going to a gym again and feel much better about myself
- I am writing again. Writing 'fic, writing original fiction, and really enjoying myself
- Compared to the 'me' of last year, I am practically a 'social monster' as I joke w/ my kids. :)  I actively reach out to friends now to hang out, catch up, etc.
- I've figured out a number of things, and am so much happier, now.
- I didn't make it out to the track day in October (exhaustion was pretty severe), but who knows what the spring will bring?
- Money is tight as Hell, since my new job is paying me about 1/4 of what I used to earn... but overall I can say we've never been happier.
- If you are interested in reading anything I'm currently working on, please let me know. I keep my work on a Google Drive now and can easily share links to specific documents. I have HP, Naruto, and other fanfic on the go, as well as a number of original stories, too. : ) Humour remains a strong suit, so there's plenty of it around.

I'll try and update this more frequently going forward. Thank you for the reminder, annalisemarie99!  ;)

11th-May-2014 10:01 pm - Another Spring Update
 Another Spring Update:
- the ice storms we had this past winter felled two of our mature cedars. T_T We have lost a big chunk of the privacy in our yard (and unfortunately, a pair of nestlings who came down with the tree when it fell). Hubby was there when it happened and was heartbroken. Good man that he is, he tried to save the surviving bird by making it a new origami next and putting it back into one of the surviving trees, around the same height; the mother robin wasn't able to save it. A part of nature, but still, it was sad.
- in positive news, we hope to open the pool soon—preferably before next weekend (a long weekend here in Canada). Again on our own (instead of asking a company to do it), since it will save us $500. Which we could really use these days. ^_^;
- no new job yet, but I still look every day. I have taken up with Pampered Chef in the meantime in order to improve my small-talk skills. I am terrible when I am put in a room with people I don't know *really well*. But I'm working on it! And it has been fun to reconnect with some old friends. ^_^b 
- my kids are my life. XD  And they make it a great one. I took my son to a fair yesterday (and we built a catapult together!), and today I took my daughter to Toronto to learn simple (computer) coding through Processing (an open source processing program) with different generative art examples. She had a great time! We are also out to karate and t-ball, often multiple times weekly for each. I live with my dayplanner attached to my left hand these days.
- writing. I want to write. So much. Between the kids, volunteering, the job search, and PC, though, along with regular housewifely duties, and my husband's broken knee, I don't get much time to myself. I miss the Studio so very much. I feel so rusty, grr! Especially when I have wonderful people cheering me on and supporting me; I feel terrible I can't put more time towards it. As it is, I've had to give up exercising in order to get enough sleep. XD
- my husband & kids went out of their way for Mother's Day. :) It was so cute. I am so very, very fortunate to have them. :D  No, things aren't perfect; but we try hard and we recognize each other's efforts more, now, and I think that's a very important thing to note. I've found recognizing another person's contribution around here goes a long way to that person feeling valued and appreciated. : )  We're trying to instil that 'attitude of gratitude' in our kids. 
- my plans for the summer: go home (the coast). I think I mentioned this in my last post, but I truly mean it. I need to reconnect with home again. It is a physical ache, this homesickness. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I really miss my parents most of all.
- I am making an effort to go out with my friends to socialize more. This may seem silly to some, but I really am a borderline recluse when left to my own devices. I like it that way; but I know it isn't mentally/emotionally healthy to be like this all the time (and a number of my really good friends have reminded me that other people miss *me*, too). This means picking up a phone. Going to visit. Going out to coffee. Reaching out by e-mail. Not passively reading and 'liking' or commenting on FB posts. Reaching out. It is amazing how scary and intimidating this has become to me, and I realize now just how much what happened to me at my previous jobs has affected my socialization. I have become afraid of being around people, in a way, because I do not trust them not to hurt me. Even close friends. When I figured this out I realized this was completely unacceptable. It is terrifying getting in my car sometimes to go meet my friends; but I make myself do it. (I might be bordering on an anxiety attack at times, but hey, what's life without its challenges?) But I don't want to be afraid of simply going out; I don't want to feel ashamed of myself; I really, really (and this is my spiteful side talking) don't want the mofo bosses I've had to still have that kind of effect on me, even months after I left that godforsaken company I used to work for. So while it is hard, I am making myself get out of the house. ^^; PC is helping me with that, in that it forces me to put on my  'show' face and just get out there. I'll be 'me' again, someday. It's just a rocky road getting there, some days. It'll smooth out. (And as Paolo Coelho [sp?] said, "Straight roads do not make skilful drivers." Obviously, I'm on my way to being a frickin' social rockstar.)
- I want to make plans again. When I started looking at the summer and decided I really did want things to work out so I could go visit my family, it made me realize how long it has been since I made proper plans. (Birthday plans turned into a suck-awful affair, btw, which we won't go into). I want plans. I want goals. I want to *meet* those goals for my plans and feel productive and accomplished again. I miss that.
- I have loved helping out some of my friends recently. Whether it was being a sounding board for a story idea, sending concrit, or stopping in to help with their kids or their business, even for just a few minutes, it is nice to be able to help others. I try to carve out a bit of time each week to help whomever I can. It might not be much (to some), but sometimes it means the world. I wish I could lighten the load for more of my friends. I am still trying to figure out how, for some. I am not tooting my own horn; I am writing this for myself to remind myself that while I sometimes feel like I don't 'do much', I probably do more than I realize and  need to take ownership of the pride I should feel for this. I am too used to sitting quietly at the back with my shoulders hunched hoping no one notices me and that I don't bother anyone else. I need to start making myself feel 'okay' for being happy to help others, instead of guilty I can't do more. ^^;  (Have I mentioned how awful it is to have social anxiety? It is a battle against an enemy who has outposts in one's head, as they say. You're your own worst enemy.) 
- no racing my little Civic yet this year; I hope to make time for that later on. I have some track time booked for October, when I return from the coast, but for now it isn't in the cards (until I have a job again). ^_^; Motorsports. The ultimate pay-to-play. 
- I am trying to read printed fiction again (as opposed to living on fanfic; which, while awesome, does often lack the standards of printed fiction) to bring my editing skills back up to par. XD Those have really suffered over the past two years. Time to break out the red Sharpie and get cracking on those WIPs! ("Merits", "FFII", "Competition", "MMII", I'm looking at you.) Argh. >_< Need to carve some time out this summer to work on everything. And finish up the coding on the author's site I made on WordPress. And fill out "Isra" more, following the concrit I received. And get that special tax number I need to publish online through Kobo / Amazon. 
One of these days. It'll come together. :) 
For now, I'll just sling my folding camping chair over my shoulder and head back out to the t-ball fields with my kids. ^_^b
Happy Mother's Day to all, and have a great week!
PS: No, I did not edit this post. You get it raw. Enjoy.
23rd-Mar-2014 12:15 am - Spring Update
 Spring Update
- I have officially started writing "Forest Fire II". Mostly planned out; many thanks to's pokesimmo for kicking my butt about that. ;)
- have I mentioned how much I love volunteering? (Especially compared to working for pay?) I do. If we had the money, I would spend all my time volunteering. :) I love it. Especially working with the kids at a nearby elementary school. They're awesome. :)
- have I also mentioned how much I love robo-vacuums? XD We nicknamed ours The Hispanola, as it searches for filthy treasures.
- it is my birthday soon, and for the first time in years I am organizing a party; this is kind of scary and awesome at the same time. 33 candles shouldn't make me feel like a kid, but this year, with me not being inundated by ulcerous levels of stress, I'm practically giddy.
- it has been fun to be creative with my kids: we've sewn together stuffies from random scrap fabric, painted birdhouses to make a fairy garden for the yard, and started learning crochet & knitting. I think we've all needed this 'creative together' time, and while it takes away a bit from my writing time, it has made all the difference with them and their behaviour. We're even taking 'adventure/discovery walks' around the neighbourhood and finally exploring! After living here for nearly 3 years!
- since I've started running 10+ km/day (with hills, and now, increasing resistance), I can't believe how much healthier I feel. When compared to the state I was in this time last year, I feel like a different person. :)  In a GOOD way.
- almost a year ago, I had to put away Bliss (my electric guitar) b/c there was so much stress in my life from work that I couldn't find any time to play. I have finally decided I want to pull it out again. :)  It feels like a good sign.
- Still no new job; I have decided it will happen when it happens. 
- this summer, instead of suffering through the stifling humidex of southern Ontario, I think I'll return to the coast to stay with my family. Exploring sea caves, hiking through the woods, and swimming/sailing in the ocean sound like far healthier alternatives. :)
If this post seems a bit too... positive?... compared to my previous ones, I think it is safe to blame it on the fact that I have good things happening, and control & choice, in my life for the first time in a long time. :)  I wish things could stay like this. As they cannot, I intend to enjoy it while I can.
If you're looking for writing updates, I will try and make a more thorough one soon. :)  I have been working on my previous stories again, whenever possible. I also intend to transfer some of my stories over from to Archive of Our Own (AO3) when I have a bit of time, too. 
Have a great weekend!   
not taking any shit from you, Temari

Just noticed today. Fixed it. I hope.

Also, happy early birthday, Severus Snape. If I had more time, I'd finish the Severus/Hermione fic I started several years ago (which is almost done). And post it... somewhere, on your birthday.

... but that's not happening (yet). XD

6th-Jan-2014 11:20 am - Happy 2014 :)

Er, long time, eh?

A quick update:

- after much harassment from my supervisor (and her supervisor) after I reported them for inappropriate conduct (including illegal activity) at work, I left my job at the end of August 2013.

- I have been blacklisted by most local financial institutions, and have spent the last 4 months unemployed.

- luckily, my application to the government for financial support was approved (after 3.5 months), so we do have a small amount of money coming in to help us get through the worst of the winter.

- no, things don't look good, employment-wise

- I spend all my time searching for a new job that isn't financial- or customer service-related

- I was writing up until about November 2013, when things became too busy for me to continue

- I am hoping to write more again soon

- I am trying to fit more physical activity into my life again, since I could really do with an energy boost. ;)

- I am very grateful I got to spend the holidays with my kids for the first time (even if we were stuck inside due to the ice storm, then the crazy freezing temperatures)

- I am considering taking up knitting again, and am hoping to get my kids into it with me. :)  (I'll be re-starting from beginner level, and have set up a profile on to look for simple, neat, useful things to make)

- I am still reading a fair bit, when I can

- I am lucky to have been able to volunteer a bit in various places during autumn, and am hoping to be able to continue :) It makes me feel happy/good

That's about it for me! Perhaps more later. :)  

Happy 2014

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